My Journey with Mental Illness

Today is World Bipolar Day 3/30/24 as I write this I have not had a manic episode in 6 years and I have been depression free for over a year. To me this a miracle because when I was 17 I was diagnosed with chronic depression, when I was 24 a anxiety/panic disorder and ultimately with bipolar disorder when I was 45. When I was 17 being diagnosed I was told that I would be dealing with this the rest of my life and I could deal with it constructively or destructively. In the 80s psychopharmacology was in its infancy and was used sparingly. I was on Prozac for 6 months to get me through my worst symptoms at the time. Those symptoms were sleeping excessively, unable to get out of bed, suicide ideation, and a generally fatalist perspective. With the medication and therapy we ultimately got to the root cause of the disorder although no real long term solutions really existed. This was before the wide use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which would have been useful for this seemingly terminal mental illness. At the time I used meditation, mindfulness practices, skateboarding and a developing art practice to keep my head above water. Fast forward to my mid 20s and I start heart palpitations that turned out to be panic attacks. I was prescribed a mild sedative to be used when needed. Thankfully this condition wasn’t as sever and very situational. In my mid 30s is when I started developing my manic symptoms during a particularly hard time in my life. Which ultimately lead to me losing jobs, a place to live and I had to move back home. This happened multiple times before I got the correct diagnosis of being bipolar, which was the span of about 10 years. Even after a proper diagnosis, the problem of getting on the right combination of medication took 2-3 years. The medication definitely kept my manic symptoms in check, but my depression was never quite solved. Medication has its own risks and having a diligent psychiatrist led to having to give up some of my antidepressant medication because of bad liver numbers and harmful side effects. I was faced with a dilemma of either searching and experimenting with new medications or going without. Thankfully, at that time, I heard a podcast that would ultimately be the solution that I’d been looking for. It’s about using the ketogenic diet, a proven epilepsy treatment, to treat a variety of mental disorders. All I had to lose was the weight that I put on because of the medication. I told myself I’d give it a couple of months and slowly but surely my depression began to fade away. Currently, I am considered to be in remission of both bipolar disorder and chronic depression. These are both widely considered life long mental illnesses that people rarely get over. I’m very grateful for my family and friends that have stuck with me and helped me through the worst times. Please if you or someone in your life is suffering with mental illness consider listening to this podcast and if not already, seek treatment.

-Thomas Carr

World Bipolar Day 3/30/24